City Requires Fee To Allow Animals To Have Sex

If this handsome fella lives in Mesquite, he
needn't bother getting prettied up for a date.
Unless his owner has a city permit that
will allow him to have sex.

In order for your pet to legally have sex, the City of Mesquite requires a permit.  And of course, a fee.

I'm not making this up.

While visiting a local veterinarian this week, I noticed a sign posted on the counter.  The sign advised that Mesquite City Code 10-7 requires all dogs and cats in the city to be spayed or neutered. 

Like so many lousy laws, it's obvious this one started as a good idea, but has gone horribly awry.

It's commendable that a city wants to keep its stray animal population in check.  Mesquite can be proud that we have not one but two different organizations dedicated to stray or abandoned pets.

It's also responsible pet ownership and good sense to have your dog or cat spayed or neutered if you don't plan to intentionally breed them.

But mandatory forced sterilization seems a little extreme, even for Mesquite.

So when I got home, I looked it up on the city's website and found that the law went into effect in March of 2010.

Stop and think about this.

For decades, the mantra has been "whatever consulting adults want to do in the privacy of their own home..."  Apparently, that freedom doesn't apply to animals.

Unless you get a special license, you can't breed your dog or cat.  So by city law, no matter how adorable Rover might be, he's the end of the line.  No cute puppies or kittens.

Oh, you can have a cute puppy or kitten if you buy it from the city's shelter or We Care For Animals.  Otherwise, forget it.

If you're caught with a virile, unfixed canine or feline, you will get fined $225 for the first offense.  That's right, if your Golden Retriever gets caught doing the Humpty Dance, YOU will pay a fine for your pet's indiscretion.

To be fair, there are exceptions.

If it's a city-owned pet, like a police dog, the rule doesn't apply.  (Judging by the allegations of sexual misconduct involving a couple of officers a few years ago, maybe it's not the police dog the city needs to worry about neutering.)

Also, the four-footed inmates in the city's animal shelter are exempt from the law.

Is anyone surprised that a city law doesn't apply to the city?

The third exemption is for pets that a veterinarian has ruled can't have the surgery for medical reasons. 

It's the fourth exemption that puts Mesquite in the tawdry position of permitting pets to have carnal knowledge if someone is willing to put up the cash. 

You can pay $25 for a "dog fancier" or "cat fancier" permit that will allow your pet to remain "intact" and free to fornicate.

Sounds a little too "Mustang Ranch" for me.  (For those new to Nevada, let me just say the Mustang Ranch in Storey County has nothing to do with horses).  You pay a fee to someone at the city (a guy in a purple wide-brimmed feathered hat, maybe?) so your tom can get down with whatever kitty catches his attention.  That is, if the kitty's keeper has paid a similar fee to the pimp.  I mean, the city.

All joking aside, this is another example of a horrendous, intrusive law that goes way too far.  It crosses a resident's threshold and dictates what goes on in someone's home with their own property, in this instance a pet.  Licensing cars is one thing, because they travel on city or state-owned roads.  Requiring special permits to allow someone to breed their own pets on their own property is crossing a dangerous line.

Since the new city council has been busy the last couple of months undoing all the ridiculous decisions and stupid laws put on our books by the previous administration (more than a few of which were approved simply because "<fill in the blank> city does it,") maybe this is another one they could add to their long list.

In this instance, it's not the dogs and cats that need to be "fixed."